Saturday, August 18, 2012

Just being bored!


“Things just happen without any reason,” one of my dearest friends told me. Being bored is one of the most natural ‘thing’ that has devastated lives of many! Well, probably I’m being overdramatic, but trust me, this is obviously how you feel when you are simply bored.
I will definitely disagree with the statement my friend made in obvious boredom I guess. But there are times when you really don’t understand why things happen! One day I got up and thought that I had done everything to keep myself occupied and busy. But still I was feeling bored. I laughed at myself that how can a human get bored when technically our brain is working like a machine all the time. Even while sleeping we dream…then why get bored at all?
I had two month off, and I joined driving classes, went on frequent evening walks, helped mum at home, read novels, travelled for a while…and yet today I feel bored. I rewound my memory to a few months back when I had a corporate job in hand. I had no time to eat, sleep, meet friends, go on holidays, or even party! Each time I canceled a plan I had to bear my cribbing friends and their continues shrieks. Though I loved them, my job loved me more!
I took time off once in a while, but work never ended. There was never a day I sat free. In fact, I was hammered with work all the time, be it personal or official. In my previous write ups, I’ve often mentioned ‘a moment of truth,’ which basically means ‘one fine day of enlightenment’!  Well, it happens with EVERYONE, and no one can deny that. I’ve had them so many times, I don’t even know if they happen for my good. But I still keep listening to it and wait for that moment to happen!
And when it actually happened, the feeling was boring. Yes it was boring! I was clueless, and I felt like a fat pumpkin sitting at the vegetable market! I felt lazy and saw no purpose in what I was doing. To be honest, this is the moment of truth that I was waiting for. Instead of hearing this from someone else, I would prefer in realizing it myself. I was interrogating myself and questioning my very own existence.
All this may seem out of track in my writing, and that I dint really stress upon the main issue. But there isn’t any issue. All I’m trying to communicate is that being bored is not when you have nothing to do. You can be hell bored in a conversation, in a board room meeting, in a movie, and even when you have no time to breathe. It’s about doing something substantial, productive, meaningful and satisfying. My work gave me happiness, but I wasn’t satisfied. My hobbies gave me pleasure, but nothing productive. Being on a holiday helped me search and answered doubts that lay within me. I was bored, or rather clueless, because I wasn’t satisfied or interested in what I was doing.
And by writing this down it helped me analyze how easy it is to deal with boredom!

Friday, February 24, 2012

Pages from the Diary

Last time when I wondered into a new place it wasn't a bad experience at all. Depends how we receive the people and their culture.  A new place is always thrilling and excites me to explore something which I probably could have never surpassed.

But what happens when with that same determination you try to relive the same moment in a place which you have lived ever since. Ever tried that? Act like a tourist in a place when you know every street name!
Chances are, you either get lost or end up having a blast.

I moved into a city 5 years ago as a student and now this city has made me a working professional. It gave me the confidence to live the way I chose to. Time flew by and I never looked back. But today, sitting in the auto rickshaw, there was this sudden moment, something like a lightening bolt, which forced me to question my own existence.

I felt, I no longer belong to the city, its people, the spaces around me, everything. Why would one feel that way? I have no answer...or probably its your inner self calling out and trying to reach out to the outer world. But this doesn't make sense either.

My heart lies within the city, for the city, its people, culture, the essence of being amongst them made me happy and part of them. I felt like home. But not any more. I can make two guesses. One, I just got bored from the monotony and grew out of it. Second, my true calling is some where else. Now this is tough, as I really don't know what would trigger such a feeling. And where my true calling is!